Don't forget that there is hope!

Many parents are exhausted both emotionally and financially, having spent years and thousands of dollars on unproductive avenues of help. One of Teen Rescue's goals is to help every family that calls. If we can't help you directly we will give you options of where to turn next. We know how frustrating it is to be left with nowhere to go. It is our promise to you that we will help you move in the right direction.

A Quick Survey To See If A Problem Exists...

Note: One item by itself could be a SERIOUS PROBLEM, and yet more than one may not be signs of an out of control child. This is a guide to help, and it's important to talk to someone who can be objective and has the knowledge to help you decide if more steps are necessary.

• Is your child rebelling against your authority?
• Is your child doing poorly in school?
• Do you fear drug or alcohol use?
• Do you fear they are sexually active? Note: As reported on CBS News on 8/10/04, 50% of parents felt their teens were not sexually active. However, research has shown that 80% of teens over the age of 14 have had sex.
• Are they living a secret life?
• Are their friends healthy in your opinion?
• Have they withdrawn from healthy activities such as sports, music, and extracurricular activities at school?
• What kind of music do they listen to? Does the music influence them with death and fantasies of suicide?
• Have they radically changed their appearance either physically or cosmetically?
• Are they sleeping excessively or showing other signs of depression?
• Are their eating habits normal and healthy?
• Are they obsessive about anything? Example: girls, boys, computers, games, friends
• Do they obey the law and/or rules at home?
• Are they generally angry or hostile towards authority?

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If you think there's a problem, don't rationalize and don't wait!

Contact someone you trust and get a complete evaluation of your child's needs. This should be a psychologist, psychiatrist, marriage family child counselor, school counselor, pastor, priest, or an agency such as Teen Rescue that can complete an evaluation and direct you on how to proceed.

Dos:

• Call someone you trust who has dealt with this type of situation
• Proceed quickly, yet give enough time to check backgrounds of different schools.
• Call on references for the program.
  • Pick 3-4 highly recommended programs and ask some of the following questions:
  • Describe your staff.
  • What is the staff to student ratio?
  • How long have your principals/directors been in charge?
  • What is your policy on runaways?
  • How do you discourage runaways?
  • What type of punishment or consequences do you use?
  • How much parent involvement do you have?
  • Who can have contact with my child while they are in the school or program?
  • How long will my child need to be in your school? Why?
  • Describe your educational program.
  • Describe your physical education program.
  • What do you do for fun with the teens in your program?
  • Will I be able to contact other parents who are in the program on a regular basis during my child's stay at the school?
  • May I receive a list of past parents to call as reference?

  Note: We encourage you to visit our school before enrolling your teen.

Don'ts:

• Don't wait for the problem to disappear.
• Don't tell your teen everything you are doing. This may lead to your child running away, or setting them up for failure if they are not mature enough to deal with this type of information.
• Don't get overwhelmed in looking at too many programs.

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If your child finds out about your research and runs:

Continue with the search and find a good program to place them in. It does no good to find them if you do not have a place to go. They will only take off again. After finding a good program, go find your child, or hire someone to locate them and transport them to the program.

Things to be prepared for:

• Threats of running away.
• Threats of suicide or self-destruction.
• Statements like, "I will hate you forever", "I will never speak to you again", "if you loved me you wouldn't do this to me", "I will sue you", "I'm going to get an attorney", "I will just live on the streets", or "I will live with my relative".

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Transporting your child to a program:

It is best if you can transport your child to our school or another program. This, unfortunately, is not the best for many situations. There are many reputable transport services. A transport service can not only safely transport your child to the program you have chosen, but they can be a calming factor in preparing your child for the school or program they will be attending. It can prevent a hostile beginning and potential of immediate truancy upon enrollment to the school. This also removes any emotional turmoil that a relative or parent can cause.

If you choose to transport yourself, explain to the child the backup plan you have if things don't go well.

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Laws Regarding Juveniles in California:

A teenager becomes an adult at the age of 18. You need to check with your state to verify what your rights are as a parent.

As of 2000, you, the parent still has the right to place your child into a program of your choice for the healing and restoring of that child. You may do so without your child's consent as long as they are underage and are in your custody. If an action by the parent causes the child more harm when trying to place them into a program, and that action is unnecessary and/or abusive, you could be subject to criminal charges. If you or a professional performs an intervention and your child becomes violent or uncooperative, you still have the right to use reasonable force to accomplish a safe transport to the program of your choice. This includes restraints and/or physical force. We highly recommend that you check with your local law enforcement before proceeding.

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